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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.radicalinsightsconsulting.com/radical-insights-blog/my-why</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2026-04-01</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/687e4156e02bbd31837b01e3/dd4a37ba-182e-4920-9ba6-65d6f2331684/past-avatars-disconnection.webp</image:loc>
      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - My Why: Figuring Shit Out All On My Own - I have to be honest, I have barley even begun to examine the personal, spiritual, or overarching effect of this disconnection on me and my life.</image:title>
      <image:caption>I know it has an effect on how hard I try to value the traditions I do feel even remotely close to. This is what I talked about around Christmas in The Grief of Loving Knife People. I strive to do all the traditional things that are more common domain and feel very disregulated when things don’t go just to plan. I wonder if that would be the same if I had connection, embodied and soul deep, to my own set of traditions. Things that transcended time and space to reach me.</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://www.radicalinsightsconsulting.com/radical-insights-blog/we-gotta-talk-about-the-teens</loc>
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    <lastmod>2026-03-04</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/687e4156e02bbd31837b01e3/d1fc9d55-39fc-44cc-8180-a77c32d1b40f/IMG_7997.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - We Gotta Talk About the Teens - But Sabrina, the parents!</image:title>
      <image:caption>I know, I know, the parents can be hard. The issue is, the kids with the hardest parents need us most. Learning to work with the parents of teens and the dynamics of the parents with the teens is some of the most important work you can do, in my opinion. It impacts every person, because everyone has been, is, or will be a teenager and every teen has adults in control of their life. Sometimes, the hard part about working with the parents of teens is work we ourselves haven’t done about our own parents and teenagerhood. Reflecting on our own relationships, patterns, and experiences is always invaluable. Recognizing where and how countertransference may come up when it comes to parents, when it stops us from supporting a population desperately in need of good therapists, it’s non-negotiable. 2. What about when they don’t choose it? It sucks that adolescents don’t get to control if they’re put in therapy. And sometimes they don’t even need it, their adults put them in for whatever reason they have. This leads to more frustration, silent sessions, and tough conversations with their adults. It’s hard to work with people who don’t want to be there. Some find it to be unethical even. You know we don’t do black and white like that here.</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/687e4156e02bbd31837b01e3/b9e3b4d4-38e4-4b96-bc40-4cea381dcd5c/teen.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - We Gotta Talk About the Teens - It’s true, working with teens inherently means working with adults. Here are some tips to get you through that hardship:</image:title>
      <image:caption>Set boundaries early and often. Before you begin working with a teen, identify what role (in general) you’re open to their adults playing. Know that it won’t be possible for you to hold every family to the same standard but some general outlines. For example, based on age, I have a frequency with which I expect to meet with a teen’s adults, I have limits to how often and deep I engage with adults outside of session, and I make clear that if adults have things they want their teen to work on I will expect them to communicate that during a shared session with the teen and be open to the teen’s responses. Remember that it’s not either or, it’s both and. Aligning with your client (the teen) does not mean aligning against the adult. I see folks get tripped up on this often, they think that they must either align with their client OR their client’s adult. This get’s sticky fast. You can recognize an adults challenges or strengths without abandoning your client. When a teen’s adult feels heard by you they’re more likely to continue treatment and even engage in the treatment to the degree you deep appropriate.</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/687e4156e02bbd31837b01e3/efdf24b2-8ae8-42be-bf95-8acc04f5cd37/2+People+Template.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - We Gotta Talk About the Teens - For more tips for working with teens Make sure to join me in May for the GEMS Neurodiversity Summit. I’m joining with two other Teen Therapists (Dr. Kade Sharp, PhD, LICSW, CMHS, CST, RPT-S™ and Jamie Roberts, LMFT) to offer a summit all about supporting Autistic + ADHD Teens.</image:title>
      <image:caption>We’ll be covering some of the most asked questions we get like: How to support identity development at such a crucial time What to do with bored and quiet teens through silent sessions Strategies for working toward the transition to adulthood even with executive functioning challenges And of course an Ask Us Anything session for VIP ticket holders, in case we don’t get to your burning question.</image:caption>
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  <url>
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    <lastmod>2026-02-02</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/687e4156e02bbd31837b01e3/e952853c-4a0f-4005-bf52-981bf7b52df8/radical+candor+this.webp</image:loc>
      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - At the Center of Racial Communication Challenges - With high levels of caring personally but low levels of challenging directly you might be ruinously empathetic. This term immediately made me think of whiteness, how it allows for relationships go up in flames because it refuse to engage directly about needs, wants, and disagreements. Usually this is blamed on some kind of phantom “rudeness” in direct challenging. If you have both low personal care and low direct challenging, according to the book, you have manipulative insincerity. The urge to leave it at “need I say more” as it relates to manipulative insincerity and whiteness is strong but this is a blog so I’ll add some thoughts. I would be shocked, stunned, screaming, crying, and throwing ass (credit to @wreckno) if any Black, Brown, or Asian person hadn’t met a white person who was manipulatively insincere. This is often the default, especially online, of how white people engage with anything even remotely confrontational. Now, in fairness, online it is hard to engage with people in a way that cares personally. You don’t usually know the other person personally in a big Facebook group comment section or in a thread on Threads. And as we’ve already discussed, white people hate challenging directly.</image:title>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/687e4156e02bbd31837b01e3/5f6d9cbe-1822-4a9b-8920-fba5fa44ec09/what+do+we+owe.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - At the Center of Racial Communication Challenges - This actually brings me back to something I’ve reflected on a lot over the past decade: what do we owe to and expect from each other. How on earth do we reconcile this expectation that we are more in community with 8,000 people in a Facebook group than we are with the person living in the home next to us. Don’t get me wrong, I have met some of the best people in my life online. My partner and I met in a Facebook group, some of my best friends (and the people who supported me in creating this business) I met online, I found my dream job on social media. I invest into those spaces and feel comfortable claiming I know and am known by some there.</image:title>
      <image:caption>But I think in the context of radical candor we have to really investigate what caring personally means and what the limitations are.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - New Year, Same Me - Comparisons Be Damned - Now, I actually have kind of always done this. I made friends with teachers as far back as elementary school, each year in high school after I moved to Wisconsin (I was a sophomore) I made friends with the seniors. In my early 20’s most of my friends were in their early 30s (meaning as a approach 30 they’re hitting 40 now). This was all well and good though I did sometimes struggle with expecting my 20 year old self with my 20 year old experience and 20 year old brain to be able to do the things my 30 year old friends were doing. Now though, something stronger is happening. I first noticed it in Scotland at the Doubt Yourself Do It Anyway Summit. The host, and my friend, Patrick Casale presented a timeline, showing his experience as a neurodivergent entrepreneur. He used the timeline to explore all the progress he had made and I was sat there, realizing I had been comparing myself to him, wondering why I did have his audience, his success.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Y’all, this man is a full decade older than me, with much more professional and life experience, of course he is further along in his career! I hadn’t even started a business or a public social media yet, how the absolute fuck would I have an audience?</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - New Year, Same Me - Comparisons Be Damned - I don’t necessarily want the lives my friends have, their versions of success are different than my own and that’s a good thing! That’s what actually makes us great community! So, I want to stay myself. I have worked extremely hard to get to a point where I actually feel stable in who I am, I can access self respect (I still struggle with full out self love but I am not averse to it like I used to be). I act authentically, I hold boundaries, I build relationships and work to repair. I honor my needs. I want to build Radical Insights, not for some "big audience” bullshit but because I want people to have access to information and tools that support my community (Black folks, queer folks, fat folks, BPD folks, auDHD folks). I want more open, thoughtful discussion on nuanced and impactful topics. I want connection, for myself and others.</image:title>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/687e4156e02bbd31837b01e3/2a7ae2a7-ea9d-481e-a1dc-70210604d2bd/IMG_1390.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - The Grief of Loving Knife People - *A brief aside: I wanted to put a picture here to break up the blog but I have genuinely no photos of myself with my step mother and none with my mother after the age of 7, maybe earlier (which was when she met my step mother).</image:title>
      <image:caption>I don’t really know what that means right now but it’s interesting. I’m going to put a picture of my cat here instead since I don’t want this to be empty and she’s given me so much comfort through the years.</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/687e4156e02bbd31837b01e3/454a116f-1887-4292-99c9-843de21023da/pic.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - The Grief of Loving Knife People - It’s a very hollow grief, made more cavernous by the disbelief of others.</image:title>
      <image:caption>“She’s your mother, of course she loves you” - she loves me in a way that hurts more than anything else I’ve ever felt. “Won’t you regret it if you end on a bad note” - I always wonder why I’m the one who “should” feel regret, she’s the one who won’t do the work. “She is doing the best she can, it’s hard to change!” - I do get that it’s hard to change, it’s effortful to drag yourself over the coals of accountability and growth for the sake of others. AND she is highly resourced and has been given clear, direct, and realistic steps to creating a relationship with me, if that’s her doing the best she can we have rounded the corner to hopeless.</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2025-11-06</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries - Let’s back up, start at the start as it were.</image:title>
      <image:caption>I’ve had to figure out boundaries the hard way. I grew up in a very un-boundaried house. It was unstable, unkind, and unpredictable. The expectations of the adults in my life were a mystery to me (and often to each other and even themselves). My own needs were viewed as “too much”, overwhelming, dramatic. Emotional exploration and processing were not the name of the game. This became a big problem as I got older and picked friends that mirrored my home life. I was never comfortable directly expressing or acting on my needs until my system just couldn’t take it anymore. I found friends who didn’t care for themselves well and took it out on me. It took me years of feeling unmoored, questioning myself and my ability to be loved, before I would figure out that the key to the healthy, stable relationships I craved was in fact boundaries.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries</image:title>
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      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries</image:title>
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      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries</image:title>
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    <lastmod>2025-10-07</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - Traveling While Fat - I’m large fat, I’m a light-skinned Black fem, I wear my hair in bright colors, I have tattoos, piercings, and bright, not very covering clothes. I also walk with a cane (when I remember to….I’m working on it). I’m also loud, I love to laugh and talk and make merry and I breathe hard as hell when I’m walking cause I usually also forgot my inhaler (god I gotta get my internalized ableism about my accessibility aids together y’all).</image:title>
      <image:caption>So there are actually a lot of things people take issue with as I move through the world, a lot of things that make me stand out from especially crowds of mental health professionals (IYKYK).</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - Traveling While Fat - So, here are some tips I learned during this busy year of travel:</image:title>
      <image:caption>If you’re a temperature specific fatty (this one is honestly helpful for anyone), invest in a tiny fan! One that will fit in your bag and you can charge as needed, I promise it helps so much! Please see my Lil’Fan next to me in the photo as I speak in Greece. Find good walking shoes, it wont fix everything but man does it fucking help. Hotels, especially fancy ones, have bigger bathrooms. Some of those damn tiny bathrooms in pubs and restaurants, and even stores are an affront, but the hotel public restrooms (or even better the one in your room) are bigger! Hotels also have lounges and lobbies with comfy seating (and frequent enough events that you can usually blend in if you’re in a tourist area).</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Radical Insights Blog - Traveling While Fat - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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