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Have you ever wondered where that praise or degradation kink stems from? Or if it's possible to hyperfocus on kink and fetishes? Let's talk about it on this week's episode of Aces Up Your Sleeve! We're talking about the importance of meeting your needs, libido discrepancy, differences of opinion when it comes to kink, and more!
We're answering:
Is it normal to develop a praise kink when you grew up AuDHD and never got good feedback from parents or teachers or anyone really?
So my husband (DX, no medication) gets these phases where he needs sex / kinky things in his life SO badly, he becomes really desperate. Like - talking about it in his sleep, getting really upset, sad, angry, dramatic about the topic etc. sometimes up to a point where the intensity of it all scares me.
Context: We've been together for 10 years, have sex on average l'a say 1-2x per week, do looots of crazy kinky things. Which I think is pretty damn great, but it never seems to be good enough for him. We also have an open relationship so he'd even be free to find other outlets if his drive is just higher than mine. But he says he needs this with me.
The only other situations where I see him getting that intense are when he hyperfocuses on problems... So I'm wondering if hyperfocussing on sexual needs is a thing that happens for people with ADHD? If so - what could be done about it?
PS: Lately he's worked on some self-reflection and communication skills, which heeeelps so much, mostly cause he's a bit more at ease and it's not always a catastrophe to him if I don't want to do something kinky or have sex. But it's still not easy and creating a lot of pressure for me...
BTW: This is part 2 of our 3-parter mini series on kink as we look forward to an event later this month. It’s called THRIVE and it’s a virtual BDSM and mental health conference. THRIVE is from May 29 - 31st, all online, and it’s by donation - your donation towards your ticket ends up going right to the volunteer staff and presenters!
On Upping the Ante, we’re helping you find ways to avoid castration and still get your desires and needs for intimacy met! We explore challenges that may be unique to ADHDers when it comes to sex, connection, and even climax. Give it a listen!
To ask us questions, fill out the form at www.neurokink.org/auys
Find more content on Patreon (18+): www.patreon.com/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast
Sabrina at www.radicalingingishtsconsulting.com or @radicalinsightsconsulting on social media (FB, IG)
Kade at www.cryptidlearns.com or @cryptidlearns on social media (FB, IG)